Sick ‘n’ Tired

What does sick time look like when you are working for yourself? Well, for starters, it looks different than when you are working for someone else. Down time of any sort is unpaid time. Sick time is usually unplanned and varies in it’s length and intensity. Each person has a different sickness tolerance level before they let themselves be sick for a while. For a large portion of us, it’s a momentum killer. If you have been trying very hard to get something going, finally hit a stride and start to feel optimistic about the future then suddenly come down with an energy draining, motivation sucking, doozey of a cold/flu, it will often kill any forward motion you have created. Even when you come out of it and begin to feel normal again, the motivation is usually gone.

These are the moments that separate truly successful people from those that are simply lucky enough to have a great start. The person who is naturally motivated, has a great support system of friends and family, or just never gets sick doesn’t know the real struggle that a depressed person goes through. We have to remind ourselves of the reasons we had for doing our thing in the first place. That becomes harder each time we have a setback because we have already achieved the initial high that comes from starting something new. When that high is no longer able to sustain us, and we haven’t seen the huge success that we secretly wanted but knew we wouldn’t get, that’s what tests our true resolve. That’s when most of us fall short. We don’t quit because it stopped being fun or some other random accusation we usually get from our “kick in the ass” support group. It’s because we have a very hard time picking ourselves up when we get stopped by something beyond our control. It seems like nobody cares anyway so what’s the point. This is the point when we need the most encouragement and usually get it least often.

My Experience

It’s been two weeks since my last post. I wanted to make this a bi-weekly thing, but a fever got in the way of that. At least that is the reason for missing the first post. I had written some of my next post before the one week mark, but I let my cold be the excuse for a second time and forgave myself for missing two in a row. By the time is came to missing the third scheduled time, I had to start admitting to myself that I was letting my goals slip through my selfish, procrastinating fingers. I had rethought about the purpose of my blog and decided on a couple evolutionary changes, but thought and planning are pointless without actually writing anything. The difference this time is two-fold. First, what I’m writing about is something others want to know and I have the experience to share it. And second, it’s something I can write in a day or two and publish to my blog, then I’m done with that piece. It isn’t like my novel that will be years in the making before I can even see the end of the project. I can go from concept to published post in a matter of days, usually a week or two from start to finish. My need for immediate gratification is satisfied.

This blog satisfies my need for instant satisfaction because my goal with it is just to contribute consistently. Of course, I have further goals of eventually supporting myself with my writing, but that is still something I’m working out the details for. The goal here is only to be consistently posting. Essentially, I want to make a habit of writing that no other formula I’ve used has done yet.

It comes down to goal setting. At first my goal with my writing was to write something that the world really wanted to consume in such volumes that it would rocket me to stardom and make me enough money that I would never have to worry about it again. It would support my family, put my kids through college and pay for my retirement while still leaving enough behind that it could do those same things for my kids too. Nothing too greedy. Eventually, reality set in. First, I didn’t actually write that much very often. It’s hard to take the world by storm when the story they really want to read is still in my head. I talked about writing far more than I actually wrote. Then, I had to admit that my writing kind of sucked. While I had moments of pure brilliance, by the time they got from my head to the blank page, they seemed more like slightly better fertilizer than the crap around it. That really killed my motivation pretty hard. It was a few years before I could even find the courage to put my fingers on the keyboard again. Eventually I started hearing that I should break my goals into smaller goals. Then I had to translate that into something other than breaking my novel up into chapters and scenes. I’d already tried that and it didn’t give me enough to keep me going. I struck on the idea of short stories. That helped. I wrote a few and even finished three. But then life got in the way again. Other things needed my time, my wife and I fought about what I did locked up in my little writing closet, and I got sick. In the end, I just couldn’t find the point any more.

When my wife left, I decided to try again, this time as a copy writer doing marketing writing for clients. Again, the goal was to use my writing to earn a living. Although I found many clients that seemed to want to pay me for what I wrote, they all ultimately fell through. By that point, I had joined a writers’ group because I really wanted to find a way to make this into a career. After a bout of depression last fall that nearly killed me for the third time, I iterated again and decided to write more of these articles I’d written over the past few months. This turned out to be a good thing because I could do one in a short time and go on to the next one without having to go back again to the old ones.

I’m back to writing again after two weeks of not posting anything, so this just might be the thing I needed to give me the motivation to restart after stalling. Hopefully, I have made my goals small enough that I can feel like I’m reaching them and keep going. Maybe this is the thing that will get me writing on a regular basis.

If This is You

If you have gotten sick and are having a hard time rebooting and getting back into it, this might be a good time to revisit the reason you are writing in the first place.

Is it the money? Are you making enough to keep going? If not why? Most writers find that money is not motivating enough to keep going. It isn’t usually much, if any, for most of us. If you want to write for money, you need to learn what will actually earn money. Most of what you see online to make a living as a writer is other writers trying to sell you their own success plan. While that may work for you, its far more likely that you will simply end up paying their bills but making nearly nothing yourself. The simple truth is that you need to just write, and write a lot, then write some more, and eventully, you will learn what sells and maybe start to earn a living. It’s a long and dedicated process, but a few have made some money this way.

Is it for recognition? Are friends and family enough? Do they even notice? The writer’s I know don’t get a lot of recognition from their friends and families. A few of them get some from their social media networks, but that’s usually because they’ve put a significant amount of time and energy into cultivating their social media for that purpose. You can get recognition as a writer, but you have to put the effort into finding the people that want to read what you write.

Is it to get a message out there? Do you have an audience? Do you know what they want to hear/learn? The hardest part about this purpose is remembering that your content isn’t for you own entertainment or enlightenment. If you have a message you want to get out there, you need to be sure you find the audience that wants to hear that message and that they haven’t already heard it too many times to care. For example: if you are going to write about climate change, make sure you find an audience that agrees it needs to change and that they haven’t already heard enough to desensitize them to the message. If you are going to write about mental health, find an audience that wants the information you are writing about. Then give them information that is helpful to them.

Is it simply because you have an inner need to write that no amount of TV, Netflix, Facebook, reading, or music will ever satisfy? This is usually the easiest one to restart after a bout of sickness. It almost reboots itself as soon as you can sit up long enough to get the words down. These are the natural writers out there. You don’t have to try, you just write. You aren’t trying to please anyone or get anything from your writing. Your writing is an end of its own. The blank page is where you are most at home. Welcome to it and enjoy the ride.

For each of these reasons and others I neglected to list here, you need to remind yourself why you are writing in the first place. If the reason you have isn’t enough to get you back to the keyboard after a setback, then maybe you need to do a little more soul searching and see if “being a writer” is still in there, or if you just put it in there as a way to reach another goal. Either way, the soul searching should help you find what you are really doing here. If you want to keep the motivation going, you need to find something close to your heart that will kick you back into gear once you get back to your ‘normal’ life.

If This is Someone You Know

You have just nursed your spouse back from the dead and they are driving you mad with all the ideas that keep spilling out of their mouth that used to go onto the blank page. This can be a difficult position for you if you, like most spouses, have been trying to keep the household from falling to pieces as your significant other has taken themselves out of the world to make an attempt at the zombie life style for a while. You may have run out of patience days ago. You probably have issues coming up that is their area of specialty. You just don’t have the energy for their neediness anymore. They’re perfectly fine and you need them to just get their shit together and participate for once. But you know from past experience that if you said anything close to that, it would destroy their fragile ego and cause more pain, fighting and dissention than you can deal with right now.

So, what do you do? You pull out the loving kindness they fell in love with and you gently encourage them to get back to the passion that lets them express their inner self in ways that won’t tax your already short temper. You patiently listen to their dreams and quietly assure their insecurities. You stroke their ego just a little. You bake them some reward cookies; they get one for each chapter/article/short story they finish. You help them reconnect with the other writers that have been asking after their health. You remind them why they wanted to write in the first place. Essentially, you become the super support system that so many writers lack. For so many of us writers, our spouses are the real reason we have felt safe enough to pursue this insane passion in the first place. We count on your grounded reality to keep us from floating away on our dreams.

What is Means

Every writer has different ways of dealing with sickness. The secret to getting back to writing when you are better is to know why you write and caring enough about that thing that you will reboot yourself even when you don’t have the normal motivations that go with starting something new. When you find yourself stopped because of a cold/flu, the proof of your passion is what you do with it once you can function enough to put words in writing again. If you find yourself stalled and can’t restart, it’s time to dig deeper and find what you’re really made of. Is “writer” deep inside you somewhere or just a cool idea that you had when you were drunk one afternoon. If you really want to be a writer, this is the point you prove it. Not to your mom or dad, not to your wife, not to your boss, but to you, the one who won’t be convinced by delusions of grandeur. Nobody will be hurt if you aren’t a writer except your inner writer. If this is what you are, dig it up and get to it. Find a reason, find a way.

If this or any other article in my blog has hit a cord with you, write me and open the discussion. I’d love to hear from you.

Why I Write

Because I have words that don’t belong to me. Some people write because they have an uncontrollable need to. Others need to sort out their thoughts. Still more have experience that others want to take advantage of. I have words I have been loaned to me that are meant for someone else. Every writer has a motivation that is their own, and most of us also have external factors that represent some priority to us. But at the heart of every writer is a purpose bigger than the culmination of us, our paper/computer, and our words. The process of writing takes all those things and creates magic. If a writer takes the time to put words on a page, its because they have something to say that needs literary expression.

I used to spend a large amount of time and energy trying to convince people that I had all the answers, that if they would simply pay attention to what I say they would have happier, more productive lives. Sounds unique, right? Yeah, right. That’s what every arrogant person with an inflated view of their own intelligence in the history of arrogance has done all through history. Then one day I realized that all of the wisdom that has survived the ages and has had an influence on our world was written down, not told to whoever could be strapped to a chair across from the wisdom provider. Once I began writing stuff down, I found I no longer had the need to verbally spew my ‘wisdom’ at everyone I met. After one of my gems got on the page, that particular piece of insight no longer wanted to attack unsuspecting bystanders. And the side effect? It’s all there for anyone that actually wants to hear (or read) my ultimate wisdom, forever-ish.

Another format my writing used to take was the stories I would share in social situations where I felt someone else was getting social recognition or coolness factor when they shared their experiences. I would often have a story that I thought related to theirs, but of course, I would add a few interesting details to make my story just a little more impressive than theirs. Sometimes, my truth would be better than their stories. For some reason, though, I never put as much passion or emphasis on my true experiences. They just didn’t seem as cool. Again, as with advice, once I started telling stories on paper, my need to impress others with my creativity in person lessened. I still use my creativity on people, but now its usually in the form of bad dad jokes.

I don’t write to make people listen to me, or to impress people by my creative genius anymore. I tried that for 15 years and kept failing over and over again. I couldn’t even convince myself of my own brilliance; it’s no wonder why people weren’t falling over each other to hear my words of wisdom, or getting in fist fights to hear my story telling. Now, I write about my real experiences. I include the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I try to finish my blog posts with the lessons I learned and how those lessons might help someone else. With the fiction I write, I try to tell stories that have a point of view that isn’t common or isn’t well understood. I’d rather tell the story of the evil wizard or the terrorizing dragon than the night in shining armor.

My blog posts, as you might get if you’ve read my front page, are about reasons and ways to love all the different people in your life. Although I have no training or education in this field, I’ve discovered a huge gap in the self-help/self-improvement market when it comes to men that didn’t start with any advantages. I have seen and read hundreds of articles for, by, and about all kinds of women’s issues. That makes me super happy because women have historically gotten a raw deal for generations, and in many places on the planet, they still are. But when it comes to men, the only stories I hear are “from rags to riches”, or far more commonly “from riches to rags to riches”. The problem I have with almost all of those stories is that almost exclusively those guys had some type of advantage over the rest of us: they either had an education (even if they never used it, they still got to go to college/university), they had a drive/determination that isn’t common among most of us, or they had a support group that kept them going when they wanted to quit. I haven’t heard any advice for guys that start with nothing, don’t believe they can do anything, and don’t have anyone that believes in them. So, I have felt for years that guys like me, and I’ve know a large number of others like me, are basically screwed. I’ve been going to counselling for 5 years and they haven’t done anything to help me in any of those areas. In fact, one of my councillors told my wife that she would probably be better off leaving so she did. I’ve been in 12-step programs and was told “trust in ‘God’s’ plan”. I went to priests and pastors of various denominations, all of whom told me the same thing as the 12-step people: it’s not in my control. I went to shrinks who all told me that my head was probably screwed up (they didn’t actually know for sure) so they gave me drugs. Some professionals I went to gave the same advice they give their female clients: work on yourself, let go of the pain and find some reason to believe in yourself.” All I heard in that advice was “your connections to the world are hurting you, go be by yourself and learn to love yourself” In the end, none of them did a dam thing. Everything I heard required me to have some feature or skill I didn’t have and couldn’t learn the way they were teaching it to me. When I started writing down my thoughts in a blog for others to read, that’s when I started understanding what I was missing. I needed someone to believe in me in a way I was incapable of doing. Much like an editor will see my writing from an outside viewpoint and be able point out mistakes I might not catch, a friend can see good qualities in me that I disqualify or completely ignore.

So why do I write? Because I can share my wisdom and creativity with people that want to hear it. And because, by sharing my experiences, other people might learn what it’s actually like to build yourself up from nothing by learning to love those around you. Looking at the positivity around you really will make you a positive person. Take everything negative you see or experience and, once you process the negative feelings, learn to see the silver lining, even if the silver lining surrounds the darkest and worst things you have ever felt. Learn to accept, process, and let go of the negative feelings, then find, grasp for, and hold on to the positive ones, especially in other people. The expression “turn the other cheek” doesn’t mean turn and walk away it’s more like “turn and offer them the other cheek as well.” If you can learn to let the negative feelings have their place, you can then learn to give some space to the job of loving the unlovable and helping the helpless. This is why I write: so others will see what I have learned about loving others and so that other guys can see what it’s like to build yourself up when you don’t have anything to build from.

If the writing bug has you, or if anything else in this article strikes you, comment, or otherwise drop me a line. I’d love to hear from you.

The Encouragement Gap

We all know someone that needs encouragement. Most of us can also think of someone we admire. But, have you even stopped to really consider the point of view of those people that we disdain or out right condescend? How about from the other side of the picture? I’m sure you can remember times when you have felt the encouragement of the people around you: often when you were trying something new or hard. There’s probably a few among us that have felt the praise of others for the success we have reached. Can you remember the support you got after you had shown you could do something, but hadn’t yet mastered it enough to be recognised for success? In my own life that is the point I have given up on the things I could have been good at.

Can you remember your own children or kids you have known as they learn to do new things? While we see them learning something new or hard, we encourage them to “try your best” and “just keep going”. Once we’ve seen them do it for the hundredth time, we don’t give them the same attention. They might be lucky to get any acknowledgement at all. “Yes dear, that’s a pretty picture,” is the response many kids get while mom or dad doesn’t even take the time to actually look at the 20^th piece of art their child has brought them that day. Worse yet, some people look at the pictures and think, usually to themselves, “There’s nothing there. Why would you praise that? It’s just scribbles on a page.” However, things change again if that same child keeps drawing and coloring and, one day a few years later, they present an accurate representation of their favorite cartoon character. Suddenly that child deserves national attention and a specialised art school where he/she can culture those talents. But have you wondered where that talent came from and how they stayed with it long enough to get that far? Most parents would like to take some of the credit here, but let’s be honest, do you really think “yes dear,” is enough encouragement for a heart hungry for mom and dad’s admiration? Not for a second. Why do you think so few people who have real talent ever develop it? Because “yes dear,” isn’t enough for most of us. God forbid one of those kids actually hear someone call their ‘art’ “just scribbles.” You can almost watch their little hearts crushed under that ugliness called criticism that they don’t even understand.

How about when we notice someone we know has a talent or skill we think is valuable. If we’ve just noticed or they have recently started exploring that gift, most of us are very encouraging. What is your reaction when it’s their 50^th big sale, or their 30^th interesting blog post. I’d be willing to bet that it’s significantly smaller than the first few times. After all, it’s become the new norm. Who recognises normal. Even if each one is slightly better than the last one, we probably wouldn’t notice the difference. Some of us look at someone who is ‘faking it till they make it’ with their talent and we might call them pretentious or arrogant. Isn’t that the point of ‘faking till you make it’? Pretending we are good at something until we actually become good at it? Us artists don’t believe we can do it either, but someone early on told us to ‘keep at it’ and ‘push through’, so that’s what we are doing. That’s why it seems we are pretending, because even we think we are. The recognition returns when a milestone is met, but even that recognition is usually short lived until the person reaches a point that is impressive even amongst their peers. That is when the encouragement and recognition returns on an on-going basis, but by then we are so used to pretending that we still don’t believe the praise.

In my own experience, I’m usually able to find a lot of encouragement early in the process. As I get better at it though, I find it hard to stay motivated because my support group usually loses interest so when I share my achievements, it seems as though nobody cares. I sometimes even hear, “your writing isn’t all that good” or “the subject isn’t very interesting.” Take this blog for example. When people first find out I have it, they are all encouraging and most even read an article or two. Sometimes they will like or comment on them, I might get a phone call from them if they know me personally. But so far, no one outside my writers’ group has even recognised most of the articles I post. This is the hard part that I have to just ‘push through’ according to all the writing advice I’ve gotten. Most of the encouragement I get these last few days is the shallow ‘that’s cool’, kind of comments that carry no sincerity and even less commitment. I know that if I stick with it long enough that I will eventually gain an organic audience that wants to consume my writing. But how does a guy with very little self esteem find the motivation to do something when it seems like few actually care? I feel like I’m hitting the encouragement gap right now. That point where those closest to me have fulfilled the obligation to get me started, but I haven’t reached enough milestones to gain sincere appreciation from my own audience. More to the point, where can you get the motivation to persevere when your support system fails to hold you up?

The answer, for now, is from where ever you can find it. Join a club that you can share that activity with. Most hobby centered clubs I’ve been a part of are very encouraging to all the members regardless of where they are in the journey. I get a lot support from my writers’ group and dance club. I’ve also made some friendships from each one. When I get validation from one of those hobby groups, it feels real and sincere; having friends among these groups giving me that encouragement hits it home just a little harder. I think this is why nearly every podcast I listen to lists writing peers as the greater part of their friendships, because they were the ones to support them when the non-writers in their circles lagged in the encouragement department. Also, the podcasts I listen to feel like another community all together that I can rely on to always be there and be encouraging. The most valuable relationships for this kind of support are the ones the artist doesn’t need to earn.

If you are one of the non-artist types with an artist friend, this is the part where you can be most helpful. Don’t let your encouragement dwindle. In our quest to get better and better we have to make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes our quality will actual drop for a time as we learn the craft of our chosen discipline. Even when it does, keep the excitement up. Be genuinely happy to see what we present to you. Regardless of the end product, we have usually poured our heart and soul into the creation of it, but we never really believe it’s good enough for public consumption (just ask any successful author). The best ones among us join like-minded clubs to practice, get feedback, and improve. What we need you for is pure, plain joy. We share our passions with you because we really want you to appreciate what we have done. We don’t need you to critique it (unless we specifically ask for that, even then it’s best to direct us to a club or group), what we really need from our non-artist friends is unadulterated admiration or, in other words, unconditional love.

We are soft creatures, us creators. We need people that will help us protect our squishy insides from the harshness that is the public. Our best writing comes out when we manage to open our vulnerable hearts to the refreshing air and the healing rays of the sunshine. While we are trying ever harder to get in touch with that pure creativity at our core, we need our friends around us to ensure the air we expose ourselves to is actually clean and pristine, and not the fetid corruption of a waste dump in an industrial area. As each of us strives to let the sun shine on our creative embryo, it’s the job of our peers to provide a little water and shade to make sure we don’t burn up in the brilliance of our pure genius.

All pretty words aside, everyone who is trying to develop a talent needs to feel that they can screw up and still be noticed. That’s where you come in. Encourage them, especially when it seems they are lagging in motivation. Support them when they get past the joyful stage. Be the reason they keep going. You’ll only benefit from it in the long run. Wouldn’t like to say you know someone famous? I know, we’d all rather be famous than just say we know someone who is. But being the reason someone else followed their dream to fruition is a feeling like no other. Even fame and fortune can’t give you that.

If you need some encouragement drop me a line and tell me a little about yourself. If you’d like to help me out, share this post with your social media friends and help me get my message to more people like you. Either way, I’d love to hear from you.

Confidence vs Arrogance

 

In a talk with a friend of mine a little while ago we talked about the difference between the positive attraction of confidence and the repellant nature of arrogance. The two look similar on the surface but most people can recognize one from the other fairly quickly. The discussion came up, however, because some people have a harder time telling them apart. This often leads some people to distrust anyone that seems sure of themselves. Other people are attracted to the strength both traits radiate. These two scenarios might cause someone into situations they aren’t prepared to deal with.

 

Let me explain a little better. The definition of confidence taken directly from Meriam-Webster.com as I write this: “a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances.” In other words, as it relates to how a person acts, it means that the confident person truly believes in his/her ability or value in a given situation. The definition of arrogance from Meriam-Webster.com: “an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.” The arrogant person portrays themselves as better than others in each situation and the attitude is usually not supported by a belief in oneself. To summarise the point, a confident person believes in themselves and shows it, but the arrogant person rarely believes in themselves and tries to cover it up with a superior manner and unsupported statements. Both often sound like they know what they are talking about and that is where the confusion lays for some people.

 

If a person has been let down too often by one or more arrogant people, he/she might learn to distrust everyone who sounds like they know what they are talking about. Many people in these situations avoid people that come across as strong because they don’t trust them to be sincere. They may even avoid situations where they are more likely to run into stronger personalities like personal growth conferences or sales environments. Many of them miss opportunities to grow or improve themselves because of their fear of being overpowered or manipulated into unwanted situations by the ‘experts’ they would turn to for help.

 

Someone who has experience with mostly confident people is usually attracted to people who seem to have a strong understanding of the situation. Often someone like this is an easier mark for the arrogant person because arrogance and confidence seem similar on the surface. If the person hasn’t had much experience with arrogance they might believe that everyone who seems knowledgeable actually has the experience to back up their claim and assumptions. This can lead to first person being manipulated and taken advantage of. In extreme cases, it could even lead to identity theft or other scams.

 

A person who is exposed to both types usually has an easier time distinguishing between them. They understand that arrogant people often can’t back up their claims and confident people can. The first sign a person is more arrogant than confident is how powerfully the person presents themselves. Confident people usually don’t need to have other reaffirm their self esteem and are usually not offended if someone doesn’t share their point of view. On the other hand, an arrogant person’s self esteem is often dependant on convincing others of their own superiority. That means a confident person would likely let those around him have their own opinions and only offer his if it has been asked for, but an arrogant person will insist that those around him agree with his point of view.

 

The confident person doesn’t have a need to present themselves as bigger than life because they understand their true value. A confident person might put on a powerful demeaner to limit how many people attempt to get past their barriers because they are overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people that their knowledge and experience attract, but in reality they still enjoy sharing their experience with people that want to hear it.

 

The arrogant person usually puffs up their personality to protect their true value from being discovered. Often the arrogant person doesn’t believe in themselves and simply wants others to recognize them and find a value in them that they themselves don’t see. Arrogance is one of the most common outer shells that someone with low self esteem puts on. It’s also one of the hardest for those that love them to get past. The arrogant person usually has a very hard time admitting that they don’t know as much as they think they do and often refuses to learn from someone else. Most of them believe that they can’t trust anyone. This results in them holding everyone at arms length outside the shell they’ve built for themselves. Arrogant people are great examples of people that need to feel loved long before they learn to find true value in themselves.

 

I don’t know about most people, but I have often switched between these two attitudes without even realizing it until afterward. I’ll be talking to someone about something I know and understand, and the conversation might start to take on a competitive tone. At that point I’ll sometimes begin to bring up points that are more opinion that researched facts. At the same time, I’ll often raise my voice as though to overpower the person I’m conversing with in order to force them to except my point of view. Later I will understand what has happened and, if its appropriate, I’ll admit my mistake and try to make amends. I usually do these things when I feel belittled and/shrugged off. My low self esteem will often feel belittled when someone else doesn’t share my view on something. It’s something I acknowledge and I enjoy conversations with people of differing points of view to give me an opportunity to build confidence in my own opinions while learning to let others have theirs without letting it reflect on my personal value.

 

The big joke in my own head and the reason I felt I had to write this article is that I often call myself an arrogant prick in the way that some women call themselves bitches, but I haven’t met anyone that understands it as an invitation into my true, insecure, inner self. I truly do want to share my deepest darkest secrets with many of the people I meet in the hopes that someone will see me as I do and love me anyway. My experience, however, is that unconditional love is the rarest and most precious thing a person can receive. I’m still waiting for mine.

 

If you want to discuss confidence or arrogance in more detail, message me to start the conversation.